Daddy and the weekend drive! Oh well what do I say it was one of the most memorable drives of my life and time spent with dad. We are usually known to fight a lot and are quite crazy about each other. This time around for the past two weeks since its just the two of us, we seem to be getting along more than just fine. We spoke about everything under the sun. Then since recently I have been reading about matrimony and the tam bram society. I asked him questions on horoscope matching etc. We started discussing about how it came into playing such an important role today. It was really nice to know that this practice has been there only in the last 40-50 years. He very nicely explained to me the reason for it also. 

A lot of us wonder the significance of horoscopes. We debate a lot without probably truly understanding the reason behind. Am not talking about the science here but about the practice in general. I also believe that horoscopes are not fool proof and time and again it has gone totally wrong as well. Most of us know the main basis for a horoscope is the assumption that the time of birth given for the calculation is right. Even a marginal error will make a lot of difference. So I asked my dad what's the real purpose I mean there is a huge possibility of error. He was very straight forward and said that its just a matter of belief these days. Something that our society has gotten used to like many other practices over a period of time. It probably came into playing such an important role only in the last two-three decades. I was told that earlier horoscopes were never really matched or they didn't matter. It was mainly an excuse for parents to reject proposals that was not to their liking, as the social hierarchy in terms status etc., had just started to take a place in the society prominently. So to avoid embarrassment horoscope was used an excuse mostly. 

Then I think word of mouth of things going well for good horoscopes match etc., made people slowly believe in it more and I guess now its become a compulsory aspect in matrimony filtration than anything else. Its more of a psychological satisfaction for parents than religious. Don't know how many agree with me, but this what I believe? 

Most of us in the current generation don't know the real reason behind horoscope matching and a lot of us probably don't even believe it and yet are forced to believe so. We feel frustrated and confused with all this. So my understanding is that it depends on each family and how we understand the concept behind horoscopes. How far it has worked or not worked for any particular family and their sentiments regarding the same.

The other thing that has always bothered me that more than any other community the tam bram parents and the extended family or even the others in community seem to feel the need to get completely involved in searching for a life partner for a guy/girl of marriageable age. I never understood how it makes sense to let someone choose his/her career , go abroad do everything but when it comes to marriage tell them they will not be able to select one by themselves and they the need the help of the family to find the right person. In a lot of cases there is a huge generation gap between the person involved and the family, we have moved places and hence a lot of cultural and social exposure to other societies as well. In these circumstances we may want something totally different from what our parents want? More than any other generation the present generation is faced with a lot of confusion on this as most of us live outside our hometowns or home countries or have spent considerable time away from our families. We experience things that were not experienced by our parents. With all this though our attachment to our roots and family is stronger than never before. So where do we draw the line in matrimony and make a balanced choice? 

I somehow believe this puts a lot more pressure on the person who is making the choice and sometimes it doesn't really work out. But thankfully for me my dad gave a very nice reply though with a lot riders saying if you are able to find someone who fits the basic criteria and then no problem ,no one wants horoscope etc. He made a valid point saying that people just assume parents are stuck up and stuff. But parents are also equally informed these days. I don't know how many parents though give that kind of freedom to their children these days. For me I know I believe in a borderless world etc., but there is this eternal urge in me to strike that balance, be it country Vs. carnatic music or puliyodharai and pasta! 

At the end of the trip I realised one thing that my dad has given me enough and more space to breathe...Is not trying to impose things and is also ready with convincing explanations for the ones that I may not agree with him...... I am grateful for that....... Love you daddyyyyyyyyyyy