I am writing this as it comes to my mind. I am not good at remembering and reproducing my own thoughts well. So i wrote about my birthday this year and a year that went by. The final memory of the year that was, Diwali'07. What a day it was? Life is always full of excitement for me and for everything I have a story. I laugh loud, i watch silly movies, my life temporarily gets taken over by sitcoms and books I read. I know I am digress but what to do detour is my middle name :).

I get way too involved with these above mentioned things. I am very open about my love for these. I have crushes on some tv actor, or anchor or film personality. I associate myself with a character or imagine my life to be similar to the book in question or some such thing.

Diwali'07 like good old diwali in my hometown is full of tamil tv programs, food, sweets and lots of gifts. I was watching this movie on tv, which had great reviews and i hadn't seen it before. ML created such a fuss about my lack of attention towards him and instead my love for the movie. He couldn't even give the small pleasure enjoying this. My family and friends all understand this well and I just couldnt understand why he would want to be so mean to me for just watching a movie. It was yet another first time for me to shed tears on Diwali.

I think it was the same night or the night before I was watching news and there was the love of my life Srinivasan Jain (SJ). Professor will vouch about my love for him. I nearly embarrassed myself when I almost went upto him in the Supreme Court to confess my love for him. Yes I believe in being foolishly honest. Ofcourse that never happened. But yes I have never been shy of letting all and sundry know about my feelings for SJ. So when ML called I was busy watching this program and told him so. In the same speed gave him the whole story. After five minutes he accused of being distracted from him because of SJ and my thoughts had wandered or some such filmy dialogue. I was completely taken aback. Till then, I had never encountered such issues.

Anyway the result was after the whole thing with ML was called off, I could never really be my goofy or silly self. I like the idea of carrying my heart on my sleeve. It has probably never worked well for me but I am more comfortable being that way. But somehow things changed. Even if was silly or goofy it was mostly put on to cover the lack of it.

Now I am slowly getting back to being myself. The silly /goofy self. Or rather the last few months have brought the soolyness and goofyness in me. I am glad the past is behind me.