Who are we really????? How does it matter to you?????

The past week has been very interesting one. Of dilemmas in life, unexpected relationships formed and threat of existing ones collapsing. Somewhere where the threat of one relationship collapsing, there is strong one being formed. The mistake and regret - personal trauma, the shock and thought not having people around has made me revisit who i really am. What matters to me the most??? Answering these questions for a very dear friend's essay and talking to another friend going through terrible phase of being unfairly and betrayed.

I have tried not to be judgmental of anyone. I may be biased but never too judgmental. I am not perfect and who am I say anything about what others do. I am not sure how it is alright to judge somebody based on personal relationships. While talking to my friend, whose life coincidentally similar to mine, i realised one thing, I am who I am, I do what I do because I have a reason and the reason is to be happy to find love and move on in life.

But you know what I am done brooding, feeling sad, guilty and whatever else. What I told "her" is what I am telling myself. My family, my friends and my life are the most important to me. I tried to be as honest as i can be in these relationships. I may have failed , disappointed some even but I have earnestly tried to be there for everyone. I am blessed with a great family and phenomenal set of friends who take for who i am , who didn't tell me I have messed up , yet give me a chance to clean my act. I am happy with that, I can't ask for more.

I am a strong, yet emotional person. I can't say no, i forge relationships very quickly and don't regret any of them. They all happened for a reason and I cherished every one of them. I don't want to lead a life full of regrets and guilt. I am not like everyone else I am fine. I don't think I am unique or complex. I am sure there are more like me. I am just another soul walking this earth. I am a good person and I know that deep down. I am about letting anything or anyone make me feel otherwise. The people who love me, love me for who I am.

"P" I do hope you have a fresh start like we spoke. I can tell you that I understand what you are going through. But just remember you are a wonderful person and I love you "just the way you are". Don't stop enjoying life. It is what we have today. You know I am always there for you. We will find that one person who will love us for who we are. That day isn't far away!!!!!!