There are those times....

Life has been a roller coaster ride. More roller coaster than it usually is. As a family, things haven’t been going great for us lately. It’s almost we take one step forward we have had to take eight steps backward. It just seems to go on and hope is that time will make things better

Dad fell ill recently, this past weekend actually. It shook my world. The same thing happened a few months ago and I somehow thought he was better and was under the illusion that this would never happen. It has affected me in more ways than I thought it would. It has also made think a lot about lifestyle choices I have made and ways in which I am far away from dad. Even the day he had his little health episode I was rude to him about something. For the past few years I have had a bad feeling about dad’s health. I would hate it if it came true. But I realized least I can do but as close as I can to him and mom. I haven’t been the ideal child for them and nor do I aim to be one. But can I alter some of the choices I have made. Can I be more patient with them as they get older? Can I be more available for them and not just think about my own life all the time?
The answer is I can. I am going to do that. It doesn’t mean I am living a life for them and not happy about it. These are choices I have been trying hard to make and been very unsuccessful at it. But now the time has come to do that. For those friends who have been around difficult times, I hope you don’t think I am alienating myself from everyone. I really hope you guys stick around the same way you have done all this time. I just have to be more available for my family.

Before I started writing this, there was a lot on my mind I wanted to say it all. But I have said whatever little I could.